The Golden Rule For Great Threesomes

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Image: Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

I’d like to say that you should wait until the end of the pandemic, but that would be a waste of time

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via Google Trends

So while it’s best to wait until Covid’s over, I should also say that if you’re gonna do it, be safe and cautious about it.

But if you’re seeking to have a great threesome, you’ve got to know the golden rule. This is a rule I’ve picked up during my carnal adventures. And honestly, only one of those threesomes takes the cake. The rest were riddled with awkward pauses and unenthusiastic faces. Not the ideal things you want during sex.

So what is the golden rule for great threesomes?

Bond With Your Teammates Beforehand

When I write for an audience, I have to know what they want so I can engage with them. Because if I don’t get it right, the audience will lose interest.

And it’s the same when having any kind of sex. Do they want to lead or be led? Are they givers or takers? Would they be okay with nipple play?

You’ve just got to know these things before you get your hands wet.

I’d heartily recommend discussing this over Grindr, Tinder or whatever “dating” app you use. That way you can swoon them while learning all their sensitive spots. But even if you don’t have the opportunity for long discussions about the human body (with the added touch of dirty talk), you should still try and learn what makes them moan. Even if it’s just before the threesome begins. Because it helps with bonding.

In one of the threesomes I was in (the best one, actually), I didn’t have much time for a carnal conversation. We all met at a nightclub, and after an hour of smothering each other on the dancefloor, one of them said he lived nearby. We stumbled out of the club, slightly tipsy, and while clutching feverishly at each other, we discussed what we were into. Who was the top (the penetrator), who was the bottom (the penetratee), and what were our giddy fetishes and desires?

And thanks to this prior discussion, we knew where we all stood and were able to form a more cohesive bond. You may think that all that smothering on the dancefloor was bonding, but it wasn’t. That was pure lust. Which is great for one-on-one encounters in the nightclub bathroom, but not for threesomes.

Threesomes require a bit more than just carnal urges.

Learning From The Worst

Now let me tell you the story of the worst threesome I ever had. The first problem was that we did it in the backseat of a car. If one of us was a contortionist, things might have been different. But we were frantically hobbling over each other for new positions as if playing a cruel game of twister.

Second, we failed to learn what we liked, which killed much of the vibe when one of them kept asking “what do we do next” every time we changed positions. Honestly, it needn’t be said, but you should do whatever you feel is right during a threesome. If they don’t like it, they will tell you. But for the love of God, do not hang around and wait for someone to show you the way.

Get in there and be part of the team! Of course, bonding with your teammates will help you with this…

Which leads me to the final drawcard of what brought it all down (figuratively AND literally). Because we failed to learn what we liked, we also failed to build cohesion as a team. Which meant we all felt a little left out.

The mixed messages, the awkward pauses and the unenthusiastic faces were just not doing it for me. So I buttoned up my pants and ask one of them to drive me home.

If there’s one person you can rely on for getting you off, it’s you.

A Last Word Of Advice

Of course, you may not know everything about their sexual desires before interweaving in the bedroom. And as my final piece of advice, you should always communicate during sex. This is not just for threesomes, but even twosomes as well. You can’t expect your man or woman to tickle your clitoris if you’re faking an orgasm. Tell them! “Go up a bit”, “rub it harder”, “follow my finger”.

And men, you’re culprits in this too. If she or he ain’t hitting the spot, don’t give up and change positions. Give them a helping hand!

And if you’re about to have a threesome, it’s all about bonding. How do you expect the team to work without proper knowledge of each other’s desires and fetishes?

You wouldn’t.

Originally published at https://thegaystraighttalker.com on July 2, 2020.

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Setting the record straight on sexuality and being your most authentic self.

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