I’ll have you with a side of sex
All without the condiments
With nothing but a feeble mind that screams my name.
Forget the plastic, please, I like it au naturale
Unless I’m saving some for later,
In which you can wrap it in paper.
Could you hurry up, please,
I’m kinda in a rush
For another self-centred date
Where moisturous hands are all that matter
God, I’m so hungry,
I could eat a horse,
Which could be misconstrued in the worst of circumstances.
I cannot wait to wrap my hands
Around the callousness of your buns,
Gape my mouth
And shove you in without a second thought.
Will you scream while I do it?
Will you tell me how bad I’ve been?
How cruel I am for not being vegan?
How awful I am for smiling at the death
Of nothing more than a mindless rump?
Perhaps when I finish
I will lick my fingers,
Reminiscing in your deliciousness.
And then I might burp,
Releasing all the flavours of your squishy,
And somewhat guilty memory.
Lastly, I will slump
Against the back of the chair,
Pull apart my constricting belt
And let everything fall into place.
I will rub my belly,
Inhale the fresh air with unsubtle gasps
While subconsciously considering a cigarette.
Only then will I realise the necessity of you.
Only then will you realise how much I care.