I totally agree with all this. I think, deep down, the fact we have TV shows and movies willing to represent the queer community is in itself an achievement. It shouldn’t matter that some of them show stereotypes, because stereotypes are reality. And not just for the queer community. There’s stereotypes in race, there’s stereotypes in women, but over time we as a global entity have realised that stereotypes are not the final edit of each group. Some gay men are effeminate, and some gay men are masculine. Some like science and some like football.
We should learn to find commonalities between groups, but we shouldn’t let the commonalities take away everything else about us.
As for gays in the media, well.. someone famous once said, “it doesn’t matter whether they talk good or bad about you, just so long as they are talking about you.” If this is true, then when they talk about us, however they talk about us, everyone else talks too. And eventually we become normal in our own skin.