Explaining Gender Fluidity

Just your friendly gay man setting the record straight.

The dangly bits between your legs do not adhere to the way you present yourself to the world. They are simply biological appendages. They can only dictate how you urinate and orgasm. Nothing more.

For centuries, we’ve been led to believe that men wear trousers and women wear dresses; that men are masculine and women are feminine. And that we cannot blend the two, lest we all be confused.

But it’s all just a social construct. It’s a norm we’ve solidified into our cultural existence. For we simply cannot bear to be confused; it’s just too much. How can we keep up with all these burgeoning ideas? Well, it’s not rocket science.

But one person’s confusion is another person’s self-hatred. Our inability to accept simple terms brings a wave of personal guilt on others. Those who do not fit the normal — as if there’s ever such a thing — are at war with themselves.

Why am I like this? They ask. This isn’t normal. No one in my family is like this. There’s something wrong with me. I must hide it. Nobody can know who I really am. Even I don’t know who I really am.

Gender comes in all shapes and sizes, and it cannot be dictated by sex. If you want to wear trousers because you have a penis, then go ahead. It’s your life! But some of us with penises feel like wearing a dress. Mostly it’s just a tickling feeling we want to pursue, much like the weird food cravings we get from time to time. Or, better yet, like going to a wild gender-bender party!

At least the women were little more willing when they began to slip on pants and blazers during the 60s. I’m sure a lot of men found it sexy. They may have made them look “womanly”, but they still look like pants and blazers. So why can't the man wear a dress? I’m sure you could tailor it to the male form.

I’m a drag queen, which means I enjoy dressing up and portraying myself as a woman. I do this for the sole purpose of entertainment. It’s so eccentric being a woman, much less a lady… But I don’t want to be a woman physically. I am extremely content with my manly appendage.

Indeed, most people who dabble in gender fluidity are not trying before they buy. They’re not experimenting for the possibility of a future sex change. And that’s because gender and sex are vastly different things.

Gender is in the mind. It’s our personal creative drive, matched solely to our personality, our traits, and everything that makes us mentally human.

Sex, however, is a physical characteristic. That’s why they call it a sex change and not a gender change. Those who want to be the opposite sex physically do not do it because they want to wear women’s clothes. They do it because they feel repulsed by the physical version of themselves. They don’t like the appendage between their legs; they feel so unmatched to their physical identity. And that is as normal as a man wearing pants.

In saying that, just because your son or daughter is dressing a little differently, it doesn’t mean they want a sex change. It just means their channelling a new personal phase that they are interested in. It’s almost like that punk phase nearly everyone went through in high school. Sometimes it lasts a lifetime, most times it doesn’t.

But it’s all normal, in whatever way you define it. It’s all part of being human. If you want to dress up in women’s clothes, go ahead. Give it a go. It’s quite fun. If you want to splash on some makeup, do it. Whoever says that makeup is for women and sport shorts are for men are too consumed by their own idea of normal.

The idea that makeup is just for women has been socially constructed. Society has accepted it as so. Much like the idea of men’s clothes and women’s clothes, or men’s sport and women’s sport, or men’s cooking and women’s cooking.

There’s no difference between the two. Not unless you’re purely worried about appendages.

And, personally, that’s a bit perverted for my liking.

So fuck the norm! Dress how you want, do what you want, and be who you want. It only matters if it matters to you. So make sure it doesn’t.

And if anyone else cares, that’s their own damn fault!

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Setting the record straight on sexuality and being your most authentic self.

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