When you’re feeling hungry and there’s nothing in the pantry, you go buy food. When you’re feeling bored and nothing in your house looks interesting, you go buy something entertaining. And when you’re feeling randy and there’s nobody around to help, you go buy a sex toy. It should be that simple.
And yet, many of us treat browsing a sex shop as a way of giving up. As if we’re hanging up our sexy negligee or skimpy short shorts for some artificial penetration. We think we can’t impress, so we go for something less.
But ladies and gentlemen — and all those in between — you’ve got a need that requires stimulation! You’re horny! You’ve got a swelling demand for extreme sexual release and it seems your hands or phallic fruits and vegetables or showerhead or spatula ain’t gonna cut it. You need something that will get the job done, and that’s a sex toy.
Also, considering the present moment where random sexual encounters are frowned upon due to Covid-19, there’s plenty of singles needing stimulation!
While we’re on the topic, let me bring more comfort to your personal quibbles about sex toys…
They won’t desensitize your nether regions
If this were the case, so many of us would get bored of masturbating by the age of 30.
Sure, you can overdo your clitoris or the head of your penis, requiring a few days of recovery (no touchy!), but you cannot kill your stimulatory sensations. Unless you’re doing it totally wrong, though. And for that, please read the instructions. Some of them can look weird, like this one and this one.
“If a vibrator causes numbing, don’t press it so hard into the vulva and clitoris.”
I’m sure the same can be said for other orifices and dangly bits…
Sex toys are for men too!
Oh boy, did you think that sex toys were just for women? Think again! There’s more to sex than dildoes and vibrators. Men have plenty of hardware to choose from for their menacing members.
Top spot would definitely go the good old flesh tube. The best way to describe this is a stretchy silicon-based orifice that is ribbed, dotted or smooth on the inside and comes with whatever opening you wish. Mouth? Of course! Vagina? Indeed! Pinhole? Who’s to judge!
And don’t forget about the perineum! (That’s the “gooch” for those who are not doctors…) It’s a popular g-spot for men, perfect for pressing some sort of vibratory device upon.
And for something rather inventive, buy a vibrating glove! For “back massaging.”
*** MAGIC HAND VIBRATING 5 FINGER MASSAGE GLOVE MASSAGER FAST SHIPPING *** | eBay
(Each finger contains its own individual massager at the tip. Enhance a massage session and more easily stimulate those…
Shopping for sex toys can be quite fun
Going to into a sex shop could seem daunting, but that’s only if you let it. Personally, it’s a rather eclectic experience. Oftentimes amusing when seeing particular proclivities being showcased on the stands and shelves. You’d be surprised what gets people off!
If you’re not really keen on going into one but still need invigoration, why not head online. There are hundreds of places to buy tantric tech for your toey genitalia. And they don’t have to be generic artefacts:
Eiffel Tower 10-inch Black Dildo
A monument of eroticism! The Eiffel Tower dildo was created by artist Sebastien Lecca. Measures at 10 inches and…
David's Muzzle Werewolf Masturbator | Bad Dragon
David's Muzzle is a masturbation sleeve that has a detailed face with teeth at the entrance, a throat-like internal…
Shopping for sex toys is a wonderful experience, so savour every moment!
Sex toys are for couples too
Indeed, it must be said that sex toys are not limited to sexually lacking singles. Even those in relationships utilise particular devices to increase bonding. And hey, sometimes you need to reach for that third draw when the husband or wife has a longstanding case of “headaches.”
In fact, most sex shops have dedicated sections for partnered stimulation. It can be as simple as a vibrating penis ring, dedicated to titillating both his erection and her clitoris.
But it can also include bondage ideas like sex swings and whips. I recommend candidly discussing your sexual desires with your partner for the ultimate sex fantasy come true.
Sex toys are the safest when used correctly
Here’s my final bit of advice: wash them properly after use and read the instructions before use.
It needn’t be said that washing your toys after use helps with hygiene, but some people forget the memo. Also, I do recommend using a condom for toys that come into contact with your rear. Sex toys themselves don’t cause UTI infections, but they can help pass them on. So if you’re pushing a vibrator into your anal cavity before smothering it over your front-end genitals, it’s best to cover it with a condom between changes. Either that or wash it after your bum play before rubbing it over your crotch.
And always, ALWAYS, wash them after use. You don’t need anything special, just simple soap and warm water. And if your toy isn’t electrical or battery-operated, soak it in boiling water for a few minutes.
And as a final note, be sure to read over the instructions before you get cracking. This is especially pertinent for the more… adventurous toys. Things like penis cages and nipple clips.
It’s better to be safe than sore.