A Gay Man’s Guide To Picking Up Chicks (For Straight Men)
Just your friendly gay man setting the record straight.
As a gay man, casual sex is rather easy to get. We don’t have to weave our way through the bases or woo partners with heaps of dates and smooth talk. We just go on Grindr and find willing participants. But the sad fact is a lot of straight men act like it’s a conquest. As if it’s a game of hormones.
It’s sex, not a battle of the sexiness. Everybody’s done it and everyone is doing it. Sex is such a human thing, so treat it that way.
You’re horny, she’s horny, it should be that simple.
Some of you might think I’m playing a joke, but I’ve met many women who go through moments — just like us men do — where they really just want to get off. You wouldn’t need to take her on a date, woo her with a list of compliments and wait a week for the deed to take place. You just need to give a bit of smooth talk, perhaps throw in a compliment or two, and if she’s into you, she’ll be ready, willing and able.
But, before we master the skills in picking up chicks, let’s refresh ourselves as to what constitutes consent:
Even full nudity is not consent
I hate those who use the “short skirts” and “overbearing cleavages” as an argument against unwanted sexual violations. So I’m one-upping like every gay man is expected to do.
If a woman approaching you is stark naked, that does not equal consent. This is especially true if her hands are frantically covering her lady bits, but equally true if she is just casually walking over to you. And yes, this can happen. You could be at a nude beach or in a nudist colony.
Of course, it would be a little different if she was walking sexily over towards you. It’s still not consent, but she looks interested, so that’s a plus!
Essentially, consent is when someone verbally, or even through body language, gives permission for someone else to engage in a wild sexual frenzy. It’s also permission to do certain things during the said sexual frenzy. Just because she wants you to perform your eclectic tongue-wagging dance on her labia doesn’t mean she is consenting to anal.
Consent is also constantly up in the air. You might have the condom halfway on and she might think, “actually, I’m not really feeling like anal”, and that’s fine. Her choice. Don’t forget you have that choice too when she’s about to stick her index finger up your butt hole…
If she says no to something, perhaps you could find another way to get yourself off. Of course, only if she’s willing.
Also, don’t take it to heart when women change their mind in the middle of sex. sometimes it’s not you. Their mood could change or they might not be feeling it. But even if it is you, don’t take it to heart. You’re just not sexually compatible with her and that’s okay. You’ll find some lovely lass who wants to be ravaged the way you give it.
In saying that, you must always talk during sex. How else do you know what she likes? And also, don’t be afraid to experiment with new ideas.
How to pick up chicks
Although women are different from men in plenty of biological ways, they share plenty of similarities too. Including feelings and pleasure, as well as getting randy from time to time. So I’m gonna use my particular ways in wooing gay men and transfer these skills to you.
Firstly, you must ascertain whether they are interested. If they are not, move on to the next. Nobody likes a pushy prick. You can discern this from their demeanour when they converse with you. I’m not gonna list all the signs to pick out since they’re too numerous to mention; but really, if it feels uncomfortable in any way, I’d say “thanks” and move on.
Side note: Just be yourself. You don’t have to exude a player’s presence to woo chicks. Just be honest and true to your identity. The only time you should really act up is when you’re doing role play sex.
Now, if she shows interest, be honest with your intentions. Don’t flat-out say you want to screw her brains out — not unless you like getting slapped. Instead, show it to her in subtle but effective ways. Tell her she looks hot and ask her if she’s taken, or even flirt with her a little. The key is communication; open and honest communication.
Depending on the chick you’re picking up, it could take a bit of time to win her over. Then again, you might flirt with a woman who really just wants to do it, making your journey so much easier. And trust me, that’s not a rarity. Everyone gets horny!
I’m not gonna give you tips on what to say since every woman is different. Just like every gay man is different. My best advice is to stick to what you know and let the conversation flow. If you’re both in the mood, it’ll show.
And my last piece of advice is this:
Don’t ask your gay friends to be your wingman!
In fact, don’t ask any of your friends to be your wingman. If you need verbal help in picking up chicks then go to a dating class. Women can tell when you’re friend is being the side hustler. It won’t help you at all.
And for the sake of your gay friends, don’t use them as wingmen either. They don’t need help from others to find sex for themselves, and they certainly don’t want to help you out with it either. Well, unless the chick you want to pick up is hanging with this cute guy who’s obviously gay…
All in all, just be yourself, read the signs and have fun.
