Just your friendly gay man setting the record straight.
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Image: Davyn Ben via Unsplash

Thirty-three years ago, Former President Ronald Reagan pondered optimistically on how an alien invasion would unite the world. Unfortunately, rather than tackling his central theme, we launched conspiracy theories about possible alien invasions — clearly missing the point.

“And yet,” he continued, “I ask you, is not an alien force already among us? What could be more alien to the universal aspirations of our peoples than war and the threat of war?”

Of course, war is a human characteristic. It’s not really that alien to us. Even the Neanderthals went to war. But what is alien to us, at least in the beginning, is COVID-19. …


When it comes to life, there’s no greater cause for alarm than the act of turning 30.

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Feature image: Alex Alvarez on Unsplash

Society has built up an ongoing ideal that you have to do everything before your 30, and that’s not entirely true for everyone. Indeed, many of you will have worked towards a career or strived to get married and have children, or even gone on a working holiday around the world — but that’s not everyone’s path. I, myself, have just turned 30 in the midst of a pandemic and my career is still stretched out in front of me. …


And I don’t even take PrEP!

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Feature image: Dainis Graveris on SexualAlpha

So there I was, chatting to this gorgeous hunk of a man on Grindr. We had swapped pics and personal preferences and I was keen for action. In fact, I could wrestle in bed with him till dawn and it was only 9pm!

And then he asks…

“Do you take PrEP?”

“No, I prefer condoms,” I reply.

“Oh, I’m on PrEP. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I prefer using condoms, though. It’s safer.”

“Damn, I was wanting to take that cock raw.”

“Would you be okay with using condoms?”

“Nah…”

And then he blocked me, leaving me raging for sex with no willing participants. …


In fact, it’s more than okay!

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Image: Romi Yusardi on Unsplash

I’ve lost my sex count years ago. If I could hazard a guess, it would be in the ballpark of about 80–100 — pun intended! But that’s pretty tame considering all the stories I’ve heard from my fellow homosexuals.

Regardless, I fit the description of a slut. And yet, surprisingly I haven’t been called one. But then, my sex life hasn’t made the evening news, unlike poor Monica Lewinsky who got a bit down and dirty with her boss. And she got called a slut! For sleeping with ONE man. What’s up with that?

I’ll tell you what’s up: men don’t like to lose and women don’t like to brag. But what’s the big problem if someone gets more action than you. If you’re jealous, go out and get some yourself! It ain’t that hard… And if you hate the idea of someone getting a regular pounding, then don’t do it! …


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Image: Mason Kimbarovsky on Unsplash

Some of the greatest queer films that came out of the 90s and 00s cast clearly non-queer actors. Birdcage. Priscilla: Queen of the Desert. Two Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything. Transamerica. Milk. Brokeback Mountain. And yet, regardless of the straight and cis-gendered actors who were cast, their portrayal of the struggles of gay and trans life is extraordinary for the times.

The unconditional love between Armant and Albert when they sat at the retro bus stop and held hands after signing that “palimony” agreement.

The deep intricacies of transgenderism in Transamerica — from retraining your vocals to family pain — performed by cis-gendered actress Felicity Huffman. …


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Image: Kobby Mendez on Unsplash

I’m gonna be honest with you: sometimes I like to be a little risky in the bedroom. And by the look on your face, I know I’m not the only one. I mean, sure, condoms are great at saving you from unwanted diseases (or buns in the oven if you’re that way inclined), but feeling that euphoric pleasure is amazeballs.

However, I have a little bit of leverage here. Because, thanks to the advancements in modern medicine, I can take a drug called PrEP which prevents the spread of HIV. …


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Finding yourself. Image: Domingo Alvarez via Unsplash

You’ve heard the saying… “Labels are for clothes, not for humans.” As if we don’t require categorisation. But I somewhat disagree because, without categorisation, how do we fit into this wide and wavering world? It’d just be a cliche sea of plain white clothes, mingling without any navigational points.

You see, we require labels, not just to shape our own identity, but to showcase to the world who we really are. This is how we fit in, by standing out amongst the crowd with a mix of vibrant, punching labels.

I’m a gay man, Scorpio’s my star sign, I’m an avid gamer, I live in Sydney, Australia, and — if you must know — I am actually a tea drinker.


Because it actually is normal…

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Featured image: Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash

Before I get started: NO, I am not asking everyone to be gay. Not all of you would want to try, and that’s totally fine! But, I am asking for society to view sexuality in a fluid state, where it’s completely normal to swing along the spectrum. Where straight people could go gay without being categorized, and gay people could go straight without social turmoil.

I am reminded of a time at a gay youth group I attended, where one of the social workers made a comment of how weird it would be if one of us decided to go straight. As if it was the most shocking thing in the world. We all (including me) naively agreed to this, not realising the implications of what we were doing. Essentially we were boxing ourselves in, not allowing ourselves the freedom to explore. …


It’s just a word…

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Image: Mercedes Mehling on Unsplash

Faggot! There… I said it! But is it really that shocking anymore? For me, it’s just another term of endearment. “Hey fag,” I say to my friends, grinning because we both know that it doesn’t really hurt anymore.

Once upon a time, the word did affect me. At school, in the playground, the bullies would mutter it under their breath, giggling. And while it didn’t bring the tears, it at least had enough strength to make me think. Like a silent cut, it brought a steaming pile of shame and resentment. …


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Image: Andre Hunter via unsplash

Soak a face towel in reasonably hot water and throw it over my face.

Play camp tunes in the lounge room and dance to them as if I’m doing a drag show.

Cut off the ‘lid’ to a meat pie and eat the meat inside before devouring the edible ‘bowl’.

Browse Facebook endlessly after a long day of work, just to deflate my bustling energy.

Play my favourite games and movies again, because I know that it has a good ending and I can live with that.

Ask myself questions and then answer them earnestly.

Walk everywhere.

Subtly mouth songs I’m listening to while I’m out walking. And sometimes I dance with my hand alongside me. …

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