7 Ways To Love Yourself This Valentines Day

It’s the greatest love of all…

Christopher Kelly
6 min readFeb 13, 2020
Image: Bart LaRue on Unsplash

In such a disconnected world, it is important to love yourself. You can never rely on everyone around you to love you, but you can always rely on you. For you are your own best friend, as the Chicago musical anthem screams.

Whether you’ve snagged the love of your life or your simply just single, loving yourself is the most important ingredient for a sound mind. And so, while you share love to those who deserve it, here are seven ways for you to love yourself this Valentines Day.

Your mind will thank you for it.

Tell yourself you are amazing

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If there is one thing you can do on Valentines Day — or any day of the year for that matter — it is to tell yourself how amazing you are. Because you are.

Everyone in this world has talents, everyone contributes to their communities in some way. Whether it’s waiting tables at the local cafe or standing up for a cause you believe in. Or even simply smiling at all the wonderful people you meet.

However you contribute to the world, you are amazing. Keep doing what you do and enjoy it. But most of all, make sure you know it.

You are amazing!

Make yourself an abundant breakfast

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Breakfast is the most important meal of the day; it awakens your body and boosts your soul.

In fact, breakfast has long been hailed as a pivotal mental health remedy. According to psychiatrist Aparna Iyer, a healthy breakfast can enliven the day for any individual.

But while healthy eating is great, don’t forget it’s Valentine’s Day! Have bacon and eggs if you really want, or slather smashed avocado on toast and top it up with cooked salmon. Loving yourself doesn’t necessarily mean eating healthy. It even means treating yourself. And sometimes you gotta do what you love.

The thing about breakfast is that it’s not just about the nutritional value that makes it amazing. It’s also a form of self-care that many psychologists recommend. You are taking care of that amazing body of yours.

Do something you truly love

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I love writing about the world. Whether it’s in the form of an article like this, a candid poem or a fantastical short story. It may not be the kindest industry to work in, but I do love it. Truly.

What do you truly love to do? Maybe it’s crafting cool trinkets for the home, or baking, or gardening, or even building elaborate miniature railway empires?

Whatever you truly love to do, just do it!

Take a hike

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Sometimes the most effective way to rekindle the love for yourself is a hearty hike. Getting out amongst nature, feeling the beating sun on your neck, wisping through thick brush, crunching along bespoke tracks and finding picturesque destinations.

But while you’re traversing the wilderness, sink into yourself a little bit. Talk to yourself or ponder on your amazing life thus far. What’s next in your journey? What are you looking forward to? What are you not so keen on?

As I’ve quoted before, you are your own best friend. So treat yourself as such!

Laugh at yourself

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Laughter truly is the best medicine. You don’t need a mental health practitioner to tell you so. The feeling of jolting yourself with joy, stretching those cheeks with elation.

Here, try this joke:

Why don’t blind people skydive?
…It scares the hell out of the dog!

But while laughing boosts happiness, especially when shared with others, it is much more effective to laugh at yourself. To find frivolity in some of the silly mistakes you do. We all do them. We’re human. If we got everything right in life, how boring would that life be?

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
-Elbert Hubbard

I once went out hiking, thinking it was gonna rain that day. I pocketed a poncho just in case. But just as I set out, the clouds parted and the sun waltzed in.

I became a lobster by the end of my hike, and as much as I can say that I should have pocketed some sunscreen, I can’t hate myself for it. What good would that do?

By the time I got home, I was laughing at myself for the silly mistake. Not because I hated myself for the mistake, but because I accept how human it is. It really was funny.

As Malia Wollan writes: “Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between self-deprecating and self-disparaging humour. Aim for the former.”

Be nonchalant about your petty mistakes. They are meant to be laughed at. It builds resilience in yourself. You are not only learning from your mistakes, but you are also appreciating them for what they are: Simple human error.

You’re not the only one who makes mistakes.

Relax your way

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Relaxation is different for everyone. Not all of us have the capacity to meditate the old fashioned way; sitting comfortably, eyes closed and breathing deeply and slowly. I’m too restless most of the time to gain any effect on old-fashioned meditation.

Thankfully, there are plenty of great ways to meditate in this day and age that don’t involve sitting still and working on your breathing. Hiking is one activity that works to relax me. So is reading interesting articles, taking a nice hot bath or conjuring up interesting ideas for new articles or short stories.

You might find relaxation in watching funny cat videos on YouTube. Or listening to particular music while going on an aimless drive, or having a glass of wine while sitting in front of the television, or crocheting.

Perhaps you could relax in the most basic human way by masturbating. Don’t be shocked by this, it’s a proven remedy for stress. And guess what? Everyone does it.

You will know what makes you relax. You’ve done it before. So remember what it is and do it. It’s the best way to love yourself.

Tell yourself again how amazing you are

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Before you go to bed on Valentines Day night, make sure you tell yourself one last time how amazing you are. And then keep doing it for the rest of your life.

Just like how you shouldn’t wait for Valentines Day to show your significant other how much you love them, you shouldn’t also have to wait for the day show how much you love yourself.

Whitney was right; it really is the greatest love of all.

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Christopher Kelly
Christopher Kelly

Written by Christopher Kelly

Just your friendly gay man setting the record straight.

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